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<big> '''Selective Pressure, Aided by Incompetent Umpire, Rout Impalas'''</big>
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<big> '''Hot for Teacher nips Imps in Epic Battle'''</big>
  
:''Wednesday, April 30, 2008''
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''May 5, 2008''
  
The [[Dalai Impalas]] took the field against the vaunted team from Biology, Selective Pressure, in a makeup of a rained out game from April 14. The tone was set early when Selective Pressure jumped out to a 5-0 lead after the first inning. It only got worse for the Impalas on their way to a 14-1 loss by mercy rule. Selective Pressure, though somewhat talented, was assisted by terrible umpiring and Oakland A’s type patience. “It’s not in the spirit of the game” said Impala’s left fielder James Freund as Selective Pressure batters watched strike after strike be called a ball. All wondered how the umpire could be so terrible until Impalas center fielder Kevin See exclaimed “Hey umpire! If you had one more eye you’d be a Cyclops!” Indeed, the umpire had no eyes. The game got ugly in a couple instances resulting in near fisticuffs. In the second inning outfielder Tommy Garrison beaned an S.P. runner trying to score and shouted “Bring it on old man!!” as the 63 year old Alan Holbert hobbled back to the dugout. Tommy had to be restrained. “We lost, but at least I got to hit somebody” Tommy said after the game. The second near altercation occurred in the third inning when Impalas right fielder, Li Ting, threw the bat at S. P. catcher Holly Rosendale after grounding out. Holly was knocked unconscious and hospitalized. She’s in stable condition at Harbor View Medical Hospital. “She deserved it. Swing the bat already!!” Ting said after the incident.
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As the sun shattered through the clouds Monday evening, so were the Imps delivered from their 3 game slump of darkness and under performance, but HFT was equal for the task.  HFT drew first flood in the top of the first with two runs off a double by Gaylord Windlestat, but the Imps picked up the gauntlet on singles by the Warlord, Derek the Disembowler, and Satan's mistress, Libby. The middle of the bout was characterized by the Imps' impenetrable defense, which attained its apex when 2nd base woman, Liz the Orcslayer caught a pop fly. "That ball went really high, I mean realllllly high. And I caught it", said the Orcslayer after the game. The battle raged on without mercy until HFT's offense came supercharged like a freight train from hell in the 4th inning. The situation quickly became F.U.B.A.R. when the Imps gave up 15 runs with the once impenetrable defense, that now resembled Rome being ransacked by the Visigoths.  The final score was 18-3.  The Imps will start training for the ultimate battle, the playoffs. (TBA)

Revision as of 01:14, 7 May 2008

Hot for Teacher nips Imps in Epic Battle

May 5, 2008

As the sun shattered through the clouds Monday evening, so were the Imps delivered from their 3 game slump of darkness and under performance, but HFT was equal for the task. HFT drew first flood in the top of the first with two runs off a double by Gaylord Windlestat, but the Imps picked up the gauntlet on singles by the Warlord, Derek the Disembowler, and Satan's mistress, Libby. The middle of the bout was characterized by the Imps' impenetrable defense, which attained its apex when 2nd base woman, Liz the Orcslayer caught a pop fly. "That ball went really high, I mean realllllly high. And I caught it", said the Orcslayer after the game. The battle raged on without mercy until HFT's offense came supercharged like a freight train from hell in the 4th inning. The situation quickly became F.U.B.A.R. when the Imps gave up 15 runs with the once impenetrable defense, that now resembled Rome being ransacked by the Visigoths. The final score was 18-3. The Imps will start training for the ultimate battle, the playoffs. (TBA)

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